Mistakes you should not make to an introverted overthinker!

Not all introverts are over thinkers but most over thinkers are introverts.

Introversion is a personality type where an individual focuses their thoughts on the self and abstraction. They enjoy solitude and inward thoughts to external conversations and attention.

An over thinker is one who think too highly of and analyse issues than is required.

Being an over thinker is not an easy deal; it requires lone time, skepticism, formality, rationality etc. Over thinking requires skepticism simply because it's the foundation of over thinking. If you are not almost always sceptical of issues, you won't have interest to ponder on them. Your level of scepticism coupled with rationality gives the bases for overthinking. As an over thinker, because you are rational, you wouldn't want to make vague conclusions or analysis so this gives you the chance to dwell on issues for longer periods before making a contribution. So, it is crystal clear that an overthinker might comment on issues after hours, days, weeks or even months of occurrence.

An over thinker's weakness is formality or been real. If you are not real in your dealings with an over thinker, you give them more opportunities to overthink on issues so as to determine whether what you said for example, was the real you or just a joke. They do this because they don't want to react inappropriately to the actual intentions of the speaker. Funnily, all of this process for overthinking cannot be easily done whilst fully interacting with a large crowd or people all of the time; it requires lone time, time with oneself so that they can process, and interpret all the information they have gathered around their point of scepticism about you.

The above analysis clear shows that such a task is not one that could be easily and accurately accomplished by an extrovert who enjoys social time (time with others) as in partying or clubbing, and a hyper frisky nature which confirms the claim that most overthinkers are introvert because the prerequisites of overthinking are just the strength and comfort of introverts.

Against this backdrop, if you have a friend who is an introverted overthinker, becareful not to make the following mistakes to them because you might end up losing them.

Before an introverted overthinker asked you a question, they probably would have thought of all your potential answers, they asked you a question to get answers that they have not been able to reconcile amongst the various questions and responses you would possibly have to tell them.

So when they asked you a question, don't just give them simple and common answers and expect them to be comfortable with it. If you do that you are creating more problems and reasons for doubt. An introverted over thinker expect you to tell them the issues responsible for your inability to do what you failed to do not just what you didn't do.

If for example an over thinker asks you why you didn't pick your phone when you were at home?

Don't just tell them that you were not with your phone and think that response should be enough for an over thinker. The over thinker had thought of that answer before asking you so they would not expect you to tell them what they already know about what they asked. Tell them beyond that, they want to know why you didn't get to your phone for such a period. If they called about five times and after an hour they called and you pick the sixth one, telling them that you were not with your phone would never be enough to convince them. The reason why you were not able to reach your phone for such a period is what they are interested in not just being away from the phone. Remember, the over thinker would have checked other areas you might be present such as social media platforms at the time you didn't pick your phone and they would also want to know why you didn't call them back, the sound of the environment from which you finally picked and the tone of your voice are all considered by an over thinker when you respond to their questions. An over thinker would have thought about all of those points before asking you just that single question. If you are innocent about your actions, don't wait for them to ask you further questions when you have further answers or points to that question (it create doubt in them). If you do, they would continue the over think by asking themselves: why didn't he/she tell me those points before I could asked, he/she only thought of those responses when I asked which possibly means that they were made up stories.

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Also, when an introverted over thinker tells you something is wrong about you, is not the same as when they would tell you that you have done something. When they tell you that you have done something, this is an issue they may have investigated, pondered about, analyse etc. They have every proof that you are guilty of their accusations. When they tell you that something is wrong, these are issues that are not clear to them, they have pondered on, analysed but could not easily give a concrete conclusion about because there are other factors that need to be considered but are not clear to them. So instead of denying them that nothing is wrong, try to let them know that it is not what they think or how they think of it. If you tell them that nothing is wrong, it will create more problems than resolve them. When an over thinker friend, especially the introverted one asks you something that troubles them about you, they ask so that they can affirm or avoid what they have already investigated unknowingly to you.

Thanks for reading!

Jayinspirationalmind blog