Before you force anything on your child read this!

Is your child an 'Android', 'Apple's IOS', or 'Microsoft operating system'?

It's not uncommon to hear parents say "I have done everything within my power to shape that child's behaviour but nothing good has been achieved ", "I don't know what more to do to get my child back into my arms". "How I wish I had been a better parent"

These words are not mere sayings but ones that connote the pains of parents when they can't see their children turning into the person they want them to be.

If you are a parent and have made same or similar statements, you're not alone, and it's may not be too late to make your child turns into a better personality.

In spite of the fact that there are numerous influences both natural and man-made, that alters the desired result of a parent's personality wish for their children, much of what our child turns out to be depends on the parent and not the child.

I would use technology operating systems such as Android, IOS, Microsoft to justify this claim.

Your child is like Google's Android operating system or Apple's iOS, or may be Microsoft. So before you force anything into your child, know the operating system that is in your child.

Personality giants such as John Locke in the 17th century said "every child is born a tabula rasa (blank slate). Which simply means no data or software package is installed into a child at birth which dictates his/her relationship with the social world or society.

Technology has has supported this claim by developing operating systems like Android, Microsoft and IOS. These operating systems dictate the type and version of software Packages that should be installed in gadgets like mobile phones, Ipods, and computers. It is a hard and fast rule that you can by no means install an IOS application into an android operating system and vice versa. However, if you found an Android software to be appealing, and wants that same functionality in your iPhone, you could rather get the IOS version of the android software you admire but by no means force one on the other because it's appealing to you. Even when software producers produce same applications for different operating systems, there are certain applications and functions that are monopolized by an operating system such as Apple's single home button without a back button, and Android's back button and multi window support system.

In line with this analogy, it is crystal clear that as a parent, before you force any traits or qualities into your child, your first responsibility must be to know the type of child you have; do you have an 'Android Child', 'IOS child', 'Microsoft child' or perhaps Ubuntu?

Have you come to know your child's unique traits that doesn't allow the installation of certain softwares?

Have you got to know the bit version of your child, even as a Microsoft child whether it has the ability to allow installations of a 32 or 64 bit Package? Not because you have got to know that your child is for example operating on a Microsoft operating system, you should install every form of Microsoft software. Your child may be an Android system but is your child a lower or updated version of Android?

Every parents who answers yes to all of the above questions will have reason to make the common statements of parents posed at the outset of this piece.

The two major operating systems identified in humans are introversion and extraversion. Peculiar traits of introversion are solitude ( pleasure in being alone), and talking less. The inverse are the peculiar traits of extroversion. 

As a parent, before you try to know the operating system of your child; first ask yourself, do I appreciate introversion over extraversion or conversely?

In other words, do I prefer Apple to Android or Android to Apple?

The next question you should ask yourself is, can I make my Android phone an IOS? Note that even when you can install certain applications in your Android phone to have certain functionality of an Apple, there are still certain functions that could not be changed and moreover, the installation of certain applications that makes your Android phone operates like an IOS will distorts some beautiful functions of your Android and in the end makes your phone more complicated for your usages.

There are also certain traits which are not peculiar but are more associated with a certain operating system (introversion and extraversion) which are intelligence, meticulous, frisky, outspoken, orderly, haphazard, social, shy, antisocial etc. As a parent, you should be able to figure out which of these traits are more associated with the personality of your child and how you can compensate their lack and/or motivate their self efficacy.

Each and every operating system knows what's compatible and incompatible to them. If your child rejects certain entertainment or dressing that you once enjoyed as a father or mother; it is not a hard and fast rule that your child should enjoy wearing the same type of dress you once enjoyed wearing before he/she can become the child you want. Your effort should be to help your child dress modestly that befits their personality. If we assumed that shyness is more associated with introversion than extraversion, you simply wouldn't expect your child to be in love with flashy dresses that attract attention. This becomes a problem to most parents especially when their personality is at variant to their child's personality. Your greatest responsibility is not to change the personality of your child (from introversion to extraversion) but to install the best available software Packages that suit the version of your child.

Remember, you may prefer Android to Apple because it's 'sociable', but a greater disadvantage to that is, the more sociable you are the more susceptible you become. On the other hand, Apple may not be susceptible because of its selective few ability. That quality over Android deprives it from certain opportunities your social life might opened up to you.

Therefore, if you as a parent desires one personality type over the other for your child, ask yourself, what are the advantages I am presently enjoying because my child is of personality A and what would have been the possible dangers to be faced by me or my child if he/she was type B personality and vice versa?

How can I make the best of my child's personality rather than forcing incompatible life patterns and interests in them?

Before you raise a child, know your child first! Before you force anything into your child, know whether it's compatible to the personality of your child and the benefits and dangers associated with it.

Is your child an introvert or an extrovert?