10 Steps to ascertain truth from someone's words or actions!

The mind is deep and complex but with careful approach; you can dig out its contents with certainty.

If you have lived with uncertainty about people's words or actions-not knowledgeable about how to convince someone tell you the truth without coercion or compelling, these steps are all you ever wanted.

1. Never ask someone directly about an accusation. Example: If you wish to know your spouse's opinion about an apparent cheat on you, do not ask questions like what ensued between you and Jane/John? Are you in a relationship with Jane/John?

The danger is, the first response would almost always be 'NO' and all subsequent responses will be geared towards supporting that No. If the person whom your spouse cheated with is known by both of you and you have a clue of their last encounter, your first question might be, when was the last time you met in person or contacted Jane/John?

2. Do not get angry in your opinion before you investigate an allegation. The danger is, it would be used against you in that issue and subsequent ones if your assumptions proved to be wrong. Even when you think you are right in your own view, don't investigate with a biased mind ( I know he/she is good at lying, I'm just wasting my time, I know he/she will have to defend it to the latter, he/she is very smart; she's going to deny everything, no matter what he/she is going to tell me I won't believe it he/she is guilty). Be rational, reasonable, and critical as they explain their views about the matter.

3. Look straight into the eyes of the accused as they give their first response(s) to your first question. Their moods to the first question and manner of response would tell a lot about their sincerity/guilt. Don't miss out on this. Do not allow your emotions to be affected by their response. This means that no matter how harsh, annoying, or shocking their response might be, try as much as possible to maintain the same facial expressions you had before you asked them.

Example: If you asked the accused about the last time he/she met with or contacted Jane/John and they say a week ago, which is the same as your clue, do not raise eyebrows over this, neither smile. Maintain the same mood or facial expression you had.

The danger is, your mood/facial expression might prevent them from telling you some other hurtful truth they may have especially if you have the power to do 'anything' to them.

4. After their first response, ask them to tell you all that have ensued between them and their alleged cheat partner surrounding the time you have as clue for the accusation.

Note that if they are too economical with words in their explanation and later have answers for subsequent questions you might asked, there is a likelihood for guilt.

5. Never interrogate randomly. By this I mean, the first response of the accuser should be the foundation of your investigation and all probing questions should be geared towards proving right or wrong that first response.

Example: If you asked the accuser the last time they met in person or contacted Jane/John and they tell you a week or two ago, they have not met with nor contacted them; that response should be the bases for all subsequent questions and answers.

6. Do not argue with them with potential defensive words. Allow them to freely utilize their vocabulary. If you argue them, you might end up saying words that they might use as defense.

Example: If they told you they met with or contacted Jane/John two weeks ago, don't ask them why there is a message from him/her three days ago?

That question could be used to defend their false claims. Just listen to them and do your mental analysis.

7. Always ascertain that your accuser is certain about their first response and all other responses they might give in the investigation. To do this, repeat their response and wait for their reply. This is key because it would make it very difficult for them to change their words in the middle of the investigation and whilst the may be struggling to manipulate something contrary to what they have said, it gives you a clear picture of the matter.

Example: Do you mean two weeks ago?

Did I hear you say two weeks?

Motivational

8. Be attentive to them as they speak to notice a change in their statement, facial expressions, a break in speaking when you change your moods or response. This is very key especially when talking to highly smart people. If they start a statement and after a change of facial expressions on you, clearing of throat, and there is a pause, change of words, scramble on words, there is a higher tendency that they are manipulating their words.

9. Do not interrupt any of their statements or explanations even when you do not understand what they said, allow them to speak and take note of the point you didn't understand. After you noticed that they have explained to your satisfaction, presume you didn't hear clearly what they said for them to repeat their statement. Remember, truth is always stored in the mind which can be dished out at anytime but manipulation is often forgotten at some points.

10. Finally, watch their behaviour or reactions in the days or weeks and even months that follow after the discussion or investigation whether they will try to convince you to prove that they were innocent. If this occurs, there is a likelihood that they weren't innocent at first because if they do, they would have maintained that innocent and normal behaviour they once had before the allegation. A behaviour which is manipulated to convince someone of something would often revert to its normalcy as soon as you realise that the person is relaxed about their accusations about you. So if any effort is applied to convince you of their innocence and that behaviour fades after you feel relaxed, their is a likelihood of guilt on them.